Emotions, why must we feel?

Up until thus far, there hasn’t been a class that really left me puzzled. It hasn’t left me questioning myself and my thinking. Monday’s class finally did that for me. I still think upon it and sit in awe, confusion, and wonder as to how my mind was processing the information thrown at me.

 Specifically, Group 20 (Sartre on Emotions) is the group that got me thinking.

At the beginning of class, the group asked us, “Where do emotions come from?” Now, before I answer this, if you are not a part of the class, I want you to ponder for a moment. Where do emotions come from? Do they come from out brain, our mind, our heart? Where? Do not continue reading until you think for just a minute, please.

So my response was this: emotions arise from our brain, they come from stimuli that create responses amongst our neurons and the synapses that link them. Very scientific right? Well that’s how I normally attempt to orient myself and my thinking, through science, through reason. From the brain is the most logical answer, it means that emotions are genetically instilled in us.

However, can a person turn off emotions? Can they learn and try to ignore specific ones? Example: a killer psychopath does not feel remorse. Why does that man not feel remorse? Was he born without that ability or did he learn it? Did he become desensitized? Did he decide that feeling was worthless to him? How this is answered could influence where you think emotions arise from.

So then, new example: In American society we cry when someone dies. We grieve and morn their death. For us, we find this tragic, sad, and depressing. So then, why is it that other cultures rejoice at death? They embrace it, it’s that end all that they wait for their entire life. When it happens they have great festivities. Can you now tell me that emotions are genetically wired? How can one society feel sadness upon death and, another, feel happiness?

This is about when I came upon two realizations.

1. Emotions are reactions. We don’t feel anything to nothing but we can feel everything to something. We react and we feel. Someone slams their hand on a desk, you jumping is a physical reaction but the feeling of fear is an emotional reaction. The fear would not have been constructed without the initial slam to the desk.

2. Emotions are socially constructed. We learn from each other how to act, how to feel, how to emote. We have been doing this for thousands of years and it’s become so second nature that we don’t realize we learned it. So we learned to feel fear when something unexpected happens, like the slam on the desk.

This is why I think it is completely possible for a person to learn how to “shut off” emotions. Love is supposed to be one of the strongest emotions that we have. However, I think it has been hyped up too much. Rather than deciding for ourselves what the meaning of the word is, we allow media to construct the definition for us, leaving us confused. We can learn to love and not love. We can choose who we wish to feel love for, and we can also choose who to take it away from.  And we shouldn’t allow ourselves to get caught up in the common definitions.

There is a last point I wish to touch on. Recently I have been playing with the thoughts on the effects of different upbringing and how those effects play a part in someone’s decision/reaction/emotion.

For instance, a classmate described to us an event of which he lost many of his friends. A reaction he had was that it was their loss. The friends are the ones who were in the wrong and he was not the problem, or so he told himself. Lying to oneself like so is avoiding responsibility. I’m not saying how the classmate thought was necessarily wrong, I’m not attacking, I promise. I just find it fascinating how we as humans react differently to similar situations. When I was in high school, I lost all of my friends junior and senior year. I was eating lunch alone and never really went out. Rather than beating around the bush and placing blame elsewhere, I knew exactly why I didn’t have friends. I actually, more or less, consciously or subconsciously, chose not to have friends. I layered on my homework, I disconnected myself with everyone, and I let them think of me what they wish. I was tired of conforming to everyone’s standards and I just wanted to be done with school. I took full responsibility for my actions and understood what the effects were.

So, yes, we can choose our emotions and we must take responsibility for those emotions because many of our actions are dependent on emotions. 

Dying.

Death is upon us. We cannot escape it. We cannot hide.

Why is it that I am so fascinated by death? The image of my death is a puzzle that constantly soars through my imagination. Curiosity is to the point of almost killing me. Scenarios plague me but none are good enough.

I do not fear death. I do not embrace death, not yet. If I did I would not be here. Suicide is not a foreign thought to me so my outlook is probably far different than others’. People forget that we can die. They get caught up in the moment and they get distracted; which is what Heidegger was saying. We need to acknowledge the fact that we can die. Only then can we try to live our lives authentically.

But what is authenticity? Is it just living how you want? But sometimes we don’t know what we want. Is authenticity different for each person? Is my definition of authenticity the same as yours, the same as hers, the same as his? I cannot answer that. Many times we get caught up in the moment; “living in the moment”. Does that mean you’re living authentically? Are you just going along with what you want? As long as the thought of death stays with us, then maybe we are.

Death is the only fact in life. Death will happen no matter what. We are not immortal. There is no afterlife. So how we choose to live in the here and now is all in our own willpower… willpower. Funny to mention this and I didn’t even mean to. Two fellow classmates and I were discussing willpower and the will to live and overcome obstacles that might prompt suicide after class. Allow me to explain.

Suicide is hardly ever caused from thoughts the individual places upon himself. A simple “I’m not worth it” can give reason but there are generally much deeper reasons as to why a person might ultimately commit or think to commit suicide. These reasons come from Others. So, for examples sake, I never thought I wasn’t worth it, I never thought I wasn’t smart enough. However, due to outside influences and the comparisons of others, I ultimately convince myself that I’m not worth living this lifetime.

Too often do what take what others say as truth. We are easily persuaded especially if we already have a hint of uncertainty.

And so, we should ask ourselves: If I died tomorrow, would I be satisfied? If I died tomorrow, would I do anything different?

This was asked of the class and most everyone said they would do something different. But here’s where I challenge the “average” person. What is it that you would change and why? If you change, that means that you wouldn’t be satisfied with your life up until this point, more or less. If you change then you aren’t living each day as if you were to die tomorrow. I’m not trying to be grim, I’m being straightforward. We live in a society that loves to forget. Like I said before, we forget we can die.

To answer the question for myself, no I don’ think I would do anything different. I live my life the way I like; I go to class because I enjoy the material, because I want to learn. If I don’t feel like going a day, I don’t go. I work the job I work because I love what I do. If I were to die tomorrow it wouldn’t make much difference to me because I can die with the knowledge that I have. I know what my future will most likely consist of and that gives me peace. Peace of mind that I will love everyday just the same as the last. And so, with that knowledge I can be satisfied. I don’t need to see it happen; I don’t need to experience it because I love the idea just as much as I may love the actual events.