Emotions, why must we feel?

Up until thus far, there hasn’t been a class that really left me puzzled. It hasn’t left me questioning myself and my thinking. Monday’s class finally did that for me. I still think upon it and sit in awe, confusion, and wonder as to how my mind was processing the information thrown at me.

 Specifically, Group 20 (Sartre on Emotions) is the group that got me thinking.

At the beginning of class, the group asked us, “Where do emotions come from?” Now, before I answer this, if you are not a part of the class, I want you to ponder for a moment. Where do emotions come from? Do they come from out brain, our mind, our heart? Where? Do not continue reading until you think for just a minute, please.

So my response was this: emotions arise from our brain, they come from stimuli that create responses amongst our neurons and the synapses that link them. Very scientific right? Well that’s how I normally attempt to orient myself and my thinking, through science, through reason. From the brain is the most logical answer, it means that emotions are genetically instilled in us.

However, can a person turn off emotions? Can they learn and try to ignore specific ones? Example: a killer psychopath does not feel remorse. Why does that man not feel remorse? Was he born without that ability or did he learn it? Did he become desensitized? Did he decide that feeling was worthless to him? How this is answered could influence where you think emotions arise from.

So then, new example: In American society we cry when someone dies. We grieve and morn their death. For us, we find this tragic, sad, and depressing. So then, why is it that other cultures rejoice at death? They embrace it, it’s that end all that they wait for their entire life. When it happens they have great festivities. Can you now tell me that emotions are genetically wired? How can one society feel sadness upon death and, another, feel happiness?

This is about when I came upon two realizations.

1. Emotions are reactions. We don’t feel anything to nothing but we can feel everything to something. We react and we feel. Someone slams their hand on a desk, you jumping is a physical reaction but the feeling of fear is an emotional reaction. The fear would not have been constructed without the initial slam to the desk.

2. Emotions are socially constructed. We learn from each other how to act, how to feel, how to emote. We have been doing this for thousands of years and it’s become so second nature that we don’t realize we learned it. So we learned to feel fear when something unexpected happens, like the slam on the desk.

This is why I think it is completely possible for a person to learn how to “shut off” emotions. Love is supposed to be one of the strongest emotions that we have. However, I think it has been hyped up too much. Rather than deciding for ourselves what the meaning of the word is, we allow media to construct the definition for us, leaving us confused. We can learn to love and not love. We can choose who we wish to feel love for, and we can also choose who to take it away from.  And we shouldn’t allow ourselves to get caught up in the common definitions.

There is a last point I wish to touch on. Recently I have been playing with the thoughts on the effects of different upbringing and how those effects play a part in someone’s decision/reaction/emotion.

For instance, a classmate described to us an event of which he lost many of his friends. A reaction he had was that it was their loss. The friends are the ones who were in the wrong and he was not the problem, or so he told himself. Lying to oneself like so is avoiding responsibility. I’m not saying how the classmate thought was necessarily wrong, I’m not attacking, I promise. I just find it fascinating how we as humans react differently to similar situations. When I was in high school, I lost all of my friends junior and senior year. I was eating lunch alone and never really went out. Rather than beating around the bush and placing blame elsewhere, I knew exactly why I didn’t have friends. I actually, more or less, consciously or subconsciously, chose not to have friends. I layered on my homework, I disconnected myself with everyone, and I let them think of me what they wish. I was tired of conforming to everyone’s standards and I just wanted to be done with school. I took full responsibility for my actions and understood what the effects were.

So, yes, we can choose our emotions and we must take responsibility for those emotions because many of our actions are dependent on emotions.